End Homework Struggles: Part 1
Things I do as a teacher that can help parents with homework chaos
Hello reader! We are mixing things up a bit here. I heard from you and I’m making a few changes to For the Love of Words.
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Every year it’s the same dance. The thrill of a new school year, the sadness of summer ending. The pride of your child leveling up, the constant homework battles. While I have yet to find the cure from summer ending blues, I got your back on the homework front.
In this multi post series I’ll offer a few tips and suggestions that I use as a teacher to help with homework. A major part of me wants to launch right into the question of if homework has any value or not, or how often/long kids should be working on homework. But this is just not that kind of post. If you are a parent with a kid who avoids doing homework, makes a fuss, does a rush job, can only complete it with your help, or is a power struggle in your family, then this post if for you.
Identify the trigger
With all things, this is a great place to start. Often we get caught up in the “just needing to get them to do it” that we miss the obvious first step. And that makes a lot of sense. You’ve both been busy all day, you’re both maxed out, and you just have to get this worksheet done so it can be done. Even if that works sometimes, forcing someone to do something just to be compliant isn’t how people operate. It’s definitely not how kids operate.
Instead of forcing the issue, calmly address it. “I’ve noticed that when it comes time for homework, there seems to be a lot of resistance from you, where could that be coming from?” Try and refrain from adding in judgement or your own reasons. This is an opportunity for your child to speak. That means avoiding language like, “This stuff is so easy, why are you resisting doing it?” or “I’ve noticed that you don’t like doing your homework, is it because it’s too hard?” Simply show interest in what they are doing through and provide the opportunity for them to respond. If they honestly have no idea why, then you can offer them a menu of options.
Keep in mind that not every kid has homework struggles for the same reasons. You are trying to identify what is holding back your particular kid and the best way to do that is to let them tell you. Maybe the idea of homework is stressful, or they don’t mind doing it, but the math part makes them want to avoid the whole thing. Once you have some info, you can start to make some changes to the ways you approach homework in your home.
Ask for their input
In the same vein as the advice above, put it to your child. In other words, get them involved in problem solving. Over the next few weeks I’ll be offering my own problem solving techniques and ideas, but there is no better place than straight from the horse’s mouth.
As a teacher and parent myself, I like to have a certain amount of cooperation. More accurately, I NEED it. But when that is not available, and I feel like I’m being met with a lot of resistance, then it’s time to diffuse and to understand. Once you’ve made wanting to know more about you child’s feelings the priority over getting the homework done, we are already getting somewhere. Then get them to contribute their ideas. Look as homework not as a reason for family tension, but a problem the two of you are united in fixing.
If you’re child can not identify a way to fix the problem, and you can either, if you have already had snack and rest and STILL needs more help getting motivated, then stick around, cause I’ll be back with more helpful tips in this series.
Any tips for ADHD kids?